Little By Little, We Are Getting There

It has been a few days since I’ve written here, and it feels like worlds have passed through me. There has been an intense emotional process nearly every day of sans this one.  There have been some serious overhauls and uncoverings and reworkings internally since this process began.  But the main aspect I will touch on in this entry is the physical healing.  I will try to go in to the other aspects later, once they have coagulated a little more.

I successfully worked my way through Paul Nison’s Program for a flare up of Crohn’s Disease, albeit a little roughly.  That is to say that I over taxed myself at one point, which meant I needed more calories than I was getting, and I made some sub-optimal choices that were a bit jarring and painful for my digestive system. Paul even emphasises the importance of no stress and lots of rest numerous times in the book, but I got restless, and ended up overdoing it. Just one day was enough to send me into a spiral of a mess that took a while to balance out from. But I adjusted and eventually made my way to eating again. 

Since then, I have only been able to maintain a raw diet of about 80%, but it has been enough to shut off the inflammatory process.  Also, I got some of the ingredients for the program a little late, such as the medicinal quality enzymes and probiotics, but once I started them, almost all pain and discomfort went away.  It was rather miraculously fast. Now all I have is some distention after eating.  Fever is long gone, and everything is moving right along. The improvement literally happened overnight.

I am still very tired and don’t have a lot of energy, but I am grateful to actually be feeling the genuine energy level I have, and not be suffering from withdrawal and intense swings from stopping cortico-steroids, which definitely reeked havoc on me physiologically, and subsequently mentally and emotionally.  I think that is almost finished now, and I am recovering.  I am left with a bit of an edge from the tax on my adrenals, which I really did not need, but it is understandable. I will get through it soon enough (hopefully), and hopefully without too much damage to those closest to me from the Grump Monster! Woo!

(Thanks to a Petafoo poster for the picture!)

I received my wheat grass juicer in the mail today, and will begin using it tomorrow.  It looks so old school, it is really neat! Let me see if I can find a picture of it… Here’s one from the Sprout People:

I think it will be very healing to have my hands so intensely involved in the juicing process. It will probably make the process less abstract. We’ll see how I feel about it when the novelty wears off! *smirk*

I also got my rebounder, which I will also try to start using tomorrow as well, lightly.  I read in the pamphlet for it that it raises white blood cells to flush the lymphatic system, and I am not sure how that would interact with the autoimmuneaspect of Crohn’s, so I want to be careful and gentle with myself.  But I know that exercise is absolutely paramount to health, and I know that it’s necessary for me to feel balanced and emotionally well, so I don’t want to put it off too long, especially since I am consuming more food now.  I am really hoping to get some energy to work with soon, too.  But I need to take it slow here, because I still feel kind of fragile.

I do plan to get to a place of eating 100% raw, and using the Low-Glycemic approach as outlined by Gabriel Cousens M.D. in Rainbow Green Live Food Cuisine.  I would also like to follow the Phase 1 diet for treatment of Mycosis (as defined by Cousens), to restore biological terrain.  This is especially important because I am fairly certain that I agree with the entire informational section of the book, which outlines Pleomorphic Theoryversus Germ Theory in holistic healing. 

The basis of this theory is that the source of disease is not germs themselves, but rather the conditions which invite or host the germs, (i.e. the terrain).  When the terrain is imbalanced or disturbed, healthy organisms turn into destructive ones, which is there job.  Essentially, they begin to recycle material, leading to the composing of tissues, which is great when you’re dead.  But while living, this is not exactly ideal (to say the least).  This means the goal to restore the conditions, and thereby remove the possibility for the destructive organisms to survive, and promote the flourishing of healthy organisms.  The book goes into greater detail on this, as even further detail is available in Conscious Eating(thank you, Google, for awesome book previews!), which should arrive in the mail tomorrow.

I’ve actually been following this stuff for a while, and it resonates with me on many levels, so I figure that as long as I am getting proper nutrition, it can’t hurt to give it a shot.  But I will tell you this, it is HARD!  I tried just a couple of days of going without sweet of any kind, even from fruit, and outside of fasting on green juices, it was impossible for me.  (Also, fasting on green juices was so intense, that I will absolutely have to write about it later.  I’m making a list of things I need to write about, since I keep saying I will write about things later.) I really need to be praying for willpower right now, because I *really* want to accomplish this. I believe this could very well be key for the attainment of optimal health.

I went to an alternative medicine clinicon Monday, and I am not sure what to make of it all.  The holistic doctor there said that I appear to have a systemic Candida infection, which is causing all or most of the expressions of ill health I currently grapple with, from “Leaky Gut Syndrome” contributing to Crohn’s, to Adrenal Exhaustion, to Endocrine Imbalance regarding my reproductive system, to ADD and cognitive/emotional disturbances. 

On one hand, this makes sense, especially from a holistic point of view.  On the other hand, possibly from a competing perspective, it could be far fetched.  I don’t rightly know anymore.  I feel a little lost swimming in a plethora of information and possibility.  But, if I do have Candida, (which I have also had verified a while ago via Dark Field Microscopy, which Dr. Cousens supports, but which some medical experts invalidate), it should be addressed by the Rainbow Green Phase 1 diet.  Of course, with an infection of this apparent severity, further support may be needed, and the clinic I went to offers a comprehensive program.  I am looking into it.  I will report what I discover and decide.

Another aspect I would like to work towards is not eating at night.  The importance of eating only in the daytime is stressed in so many cultures and healing modalities that it is difficult to track.  Most recently, Paul Nison is releasing a book and program called The Daylight Diet, where he apparently gives plenty of information and sources to support the importance of this vastly overlooked aspect of health and lifestyle. I already know it though, so I don’t really need to be reminded as much as I need the discipline to implement it. 

Firstly, I need to get to sleep earlier so that I can rise earlier, and get all the nutrients I need while the sun is up.  Otherwise, I wake up in a deficit that takes me long into the evening to fulfill.  And with blood-sugar problems on top of it, it becomes a huge grappling endeavor.  So this is definitely on the list of things to address.  I’m supposed to sleep by 11 anyway to help heal my adrenals.  So timing becomes doubly important.

Essentially, I want and need to be gentle with myself.  I have already tried taking on too much too soon and failed miserably.  I’ve done this several times over the past couple of years, two steps forward and one step back, and sometimes two steps back for a while until I get it together enough to go one step forward instead.  So that’s the goal this time, one step at a time.  I think this is absolutely vital to ensure my success.  And I know I will succeed if I am paying attention.

I am paying attention.