Relapse

In the last two months I have managed to land in the hospital getting my head checked for a week by mental health services, and then not long after, relapse with Crohn’s Disease and end up hospitalized for 9 days.  It turns out this whole food thing is a bigger deal than I’d like it to be, emotionally and physically. For purposes of this entry, we will keep things related to the current flair up.

Tests showed that the whole last foot of my intestines is inflamed and thickened. Not good. I got released from the hospital the day before yesterday, and am starting Paul Nison’s program again tomorrow for healing inflammatory bowel disease.  This time it is imperative that I follow all of the advice, including staying 80% raw after the fasting period.  I didn’t do that last time, in fact I slipped all the way back to what I was doing that led to my first flair up in three years all over again.  In little more than two months, even.  Sheesh.  I am tempted to feel ashamed, but I know that will not help things.  

Unfortunately it is going to take me twenty days to taper myself off of Prednisone, the evil steroid monster, but I am praying I can get through it.  I’m just giving this over to God now, folks.  I can’t do this by myself anymore.

I wish I lived somewhere where people led this lifestyle successfully, where we could support each other.  It is just so hard otherwise.  But let me stop before I sound too much like a victim.  I am about ready to collapse from exhaustion already.  I don’t need negative mind sets weighing me down.  

*breathes*

I can do this.